When I was in 7th grade, most of my small class of 37 people stopped talking to me. I don’t remember all of the details or if I deserved it, but I still get sick to my stomach remembering how hard it was to get up for school every day and face them. I remember fearing that I wouldn’t get a partner in gym class for sit ups (remember how we used to have to sit on each others’ feet? GROSS).
The mercy was a group of 4 girls who didn’t follow the crowd. Tami, Shelly, Tina and Stacey were my friends through it. They stuck with me and held my feet so I didn’t end up with the gym teacher who never let you cheat on those exercises.
The other day XS was feeling sad and left out when his brother was asking him to stop following him. I told him this story and agreed it never feels good to be left out.
The last few weeks I have had numerous hard conversations at work, regarding my husband’s work and at home with my bent 6 year old. We have the lovely election season which also brings some added drama to conversation.
Tonight, I was working really hard to make a social event happen in my basement for my neighborhood. Despite my husband’s surprise information that he couldn’t get home before 9 and the fact that I had 3 kids to get into bed at the same time as the aforementioned social event, I was giving it the ole college try.
We decided to go pick up Brian (in Superior which meant a trip to Aldi [score]) and come home for late bedtimes but still had an extra adult in the house. I put away a ton of groceries and emptied lunch boxes etc… And then the text messages started pouring in with cancellation after cancellation…
What is worse: cramming in the girls’ night when I had a really long day but I was going to make it work? (like this: I noticed as I went to the bathroom for maybe the 3rd time all day that my leggings are SHREDDED in my inner thighs and I’ve had meetings today, took the kids to swim, shopped and even had a meeting with the boss/pastor! EW)
Or going through all of that work and ending up with zero friends who could come?
Well, I didn’t cry, but thought about it.
I said, “I don’t even know what to do.”
Calista said, “Mom, you should play a game with me.” and brought out Candyland.
Other than getting the Gingerbread Man when I was about to win, it was very restful. We laughed. We ate popcorn.
And I was reminded that the world doesn’t hate me. Not even my friends who cancel did so b/c of me, they just were throwing up or had husbands who were also working late. My 8-year old still liked me after I was a very stressed momma tonight.
So, we turned the heat on tonight (first time: BOOM). I did some work emails. Oh and I blogged.
The other day I noticed my friend at the Y help a “new girl” get set up for class. She asked questions, was friendly and I noticed. It was a simple act, but I’ll bet the “new girl” returns and isn’t afraid to come back.
Somehow, can we try to be people who are able to have hard conversations, even about which candidate we are/aren’t going to vote for (even IF we do vote!), what we believe and practice and come to realize our good friends disagree with us, and still be friends?
Many of those kids in my grade who stopped talking to me eventually started to talk to me again. The feeling of being sick to my stomach went away and we all grew up. We share pics of our kids growing up and celebrate when good things happen.
Elam just woke up, called my name and he needed to know I was here.
Don’t we all?
In the times ahead friends, we are going to have so many chances to be the kids who shut others out or the ones who stand up to it or the ones who let the disagreements melt into the past. Or the ones who blog/post on social media about being nice at such a time as this.
So I am going to reschedule my girls’ night and then go to bed early.
“Honor all people. Love the brotherhood/sisterhood. Fear God. Honor the king.” 2 Peter 2:17
And if you’re in the Woodland Neighborhood and want a good girls night out, let me know!